Joy to the World...Bah, Humbug!

(This was written for the December 19, 2014 edition of the Knoxville Journal Express)

One of my favorite things to do this time of the year is to listen to Christmas music. There are so many great songs that can put me in the Christmas spirit. I find myself singing along…”It’s the most wonderful time of the year” ♫ “Joy to the world” ♪ “Have yourself a merry little Christmas.” Despite my pleasure of these songs and the whole Christmas Season, I know this time of the year can be really difficult for some people. Instead of singing along to Christmas carols or wishing people, “Merry Christmas!” some people just want to shout “Bah, Humbug!”

It’s not that the “Bah, Humbuggers” are rude or mean people. It’s just sometimes life can be hard and the Christmas season reminds us of the things we’ve lost. We are reminded of the pain we have from the death of a loved one, or the distance between our family members, or the sorrow over a broken relationship, or the crushed hope of a dream that never came true. When we are experiencing some of life’s lows, we may feel more like Ebenezer Scrooge than we want to admit. We want to know what we can do to get rid of our grumpiness.

You see that is part of the problem, we are always thinking about what we can do. There is already so much to do this time of the year that the last thing we need is to put additional pressure on ourselves to do even more. The true joy of Christmas is that we have been given a gift from God in the form of a baby named Jesus. It’s a gift just waiting to be received.

If there is one thing we need to do this time of the year it is to hear the Christmas Story. Not the story written by Charles Dickens where Mr. Scrooge changes his attitude out of fear but the story written out of love, by God. You see God so loved the world that he sent his Son into the world for us, all of us! This is a gift indeed! “’Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,’ which means, ‘God is with us.’” (Matthew 1:23)

The gift of God always being with us is what helps us through the lows of life. The miracle of God coming to earth as a baby helps us to know that God has experienced life’s pains, disappointments and losses just like we experience. Knowing that God is with us keeps us from feeling alone when everyone else seems so joyful.

If you have never heard the true Christmas story or if it has been a while, then please join one of our local churches on Christmas Eve to hear and experience the joy of God’s greatest gift. Good Shepherd Lutheran Church will have two Christmas Eve services, 6:00pm and 8:00pm, both with candle light and communion. The 6:00pm worship will include a children’s message and both services will have special music along with singing some of our favorites like “Joy to the World.” All are welcome!

God’s Peace to you and your family. Pastor Kristine Dohrmann

Fitting In

            As we grow older, we often look back and share memories from growing up. Things like our family size, where we lived, and the schools we attended. What do you remember most about school? Was it a favorite teacher? Maybe it was a sport you played, a subject you enjoyed or the friends you made. Most of us have fond memories of school but we can also remember those times that were just plain awkward. You know, like standing there in your gym clothes waiting to be picked for a team. Or how about walking into the crowded lunch room searching for a familiar face, desperately looking for someone to invite you to join their lunch group.

            We often think that “fitting in” is just a middle school problem, but it’s not. Last week I attended a conference with other Lutheran pastors in my synod. The event started Sunday evening with a delicious BBQ dinner on the lawn of the hosting church, just across the street from a beautiful city park. I was a little late arriving so others were already sitting at tables eating their dinner, enjoying the weather, music and each other’s company. I got in line, filled my plate and then found myself searching the tables for a familiar face. I had a flashback to middle school and that awkward feeling of wondering where I fit in. On my way to the food line, I had seen my friend and former pastor but her table was already full. So now what? Was I brave enough to approach a table of people I didn’t know? If I stood there too long people may begin to notice and start talking about the “new girl.” Finally, I spotted a colleague from my conference and sat down at an open seat at his table. No matter how old we are, we still get uncomfortable in new situations. We like things to be familiar, we want to feel like we fit in.

            The situation of wanting to fit in with my colleagues made me think about church and being a part of a Christian community. God has created us to live in community. We have several books of the bible written by leaders like Paul, Peter and John, to the early church. These are letters of encouragement to Christian communities who are struggling with many things but generally they are just trying to figure out what it means to be the church, you could say they are feeling like they don’t “fit-in” with the world around them.

When we’ve strayed away from church or have never attended a church worship service before, it can be really hard to walk into that church building. We wonder if we’ll know anyone. Will people stare at me and know that it’s been a really long time since I’ve worshipped? Will I know what to do or the songs that they sing? These are all legitimate concerns based out of our desire to fit in. But the desire of God wanting us to be together in Christian community, can override our fears and concerns.

Yes, walking into a church for worship can be a little awkward but what I continually hear from visitors is that they felt welcomed here in this Christian community. If it’s been a while since you’ve attended church, I invite you to join us or a Christian community that is familiar to you. Here in this place, you’ll feel the love of a community that doesn’t have all the answers but finds joy in walking together in faith as we try and “fit in” to the world around us. Come join us, all are welcome! “We declare to you what we have seen and heard so that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. We are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.” (1 John 1:3-4)

Reflection on my 1st Year as Pastor

       June 1^st was the one-year anniversary of my call to public ministry as pastor of Good Shepherd Lutheran Church. As I was attending our annual Synod Assembly this past weekend, I was reminded that last year at Assembly, I was nervous about starting my First Call. This year I was more relaxed as I participated in the election of our synod bishop and lead one of the forums. Over the weekend and as we heard from our guests like ELCA Presiding Bishop Elizabeth Eaton, I was reminded about our oneness in Christ. I began to think about and reflect on my first year in public ministry.

       My journey of preparation for public ministry was longer than most. It was 10 years from the time when my pastor said, “I think you’re being called into ministry” and I was ordained to the ministry of Word and Sacrament. Because I originally discerned the call to ministry as a lay professional, I spent extra time in school and have both a Master of Arts and a Master of Divinity degree. What I learned in the classroom from my church history, bible, theology, preaching, pastoral care and Christian education courses were important in helping to prepare me for public ministry. But what I rely on most is not something that was taught in the classroom, read in a book or even learned during my internship. What I rely on most is my own relationship with God.

      It is my trust in the Triune God that allows me to proclaim God’s grace to others. It is God’s strength that I draw upon while ministering to a family who is saying good-bye to their loved one. It is God’s wisdom that has given me the words that others need to hear as I sit at my dining room table on Saturday night desperate to finish Sunday’s sermon. It is God’s abiding presence that comforts me when lonely and calms me when anxiety arises. It is knowing God’s promise in my own baptism that gives me the courage to speak with boldness to another, “As God’s beloved child, you are loved and forgiven.”

     During the Synod Assembly, what I noticed was the Holy Spirit at work in and through those assembled. We sensed the Holy Spirit’s presence in worship, in the re-election of Bishop Michael Burk and in Bishop Eaton’s voice as she passionately presented and preached. As we prepare to celebrate Pentecost this Sunday, I am reminded of the Holy Spirit uniting us into one body. During my year at Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary, I had a couple of memorable encounters with the Holy Spirit. One of those encounters occurred while doing exegetical work on Ephesians 1:15-23. As I reflect on my 1^st year as a pastor, I again hear Paul’s words of thanksgiving and prayer in this passage as the church’s corporate prayer for not only me, called and ordained as pastor, but for all of Jesus’ disciples who are called to proclaim and worship the crucified and risen Christ. “The church is Christ’s body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.” Ephesians 1:23 taken from The Message.

Remember you are dust...

Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return. These are the words spoken in our Ash Wednesday worship as the sign of the cross is made with ashes from last year’s palms. It also marks the beginning of the season of Lent which lasts 40 days, not counting Sundays. The season is modeled after the 40 days that Jesus spent in the wilderness tempted by the devil. Lent is a time of repentance and recognition of our own humanity and our mortality.

As I prepare for my first Ash Wednesday worship as a pastor, I’m reminded of the Ash Wednesday worship of my internship year. The imposition of ashes was truly a holy moment and I felt God’s presence as I made the sign of the cross on each forehead and proclaimed “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

But I also have a confession to make about that Ash Wednesday worship, well two confessions actually. First, my supervisor was off on medical leave and the interim pastor had total confidence in me to prepare the ashes for the service. Although we had gone over preparing the ashes in my seminary worship practicum class, we didn’t get an exact recipe for the correct amount of ash and oil. My first batch of ashes looked like a goopy muddy mess. It was not even fit for mud pies let alone something that could be placed on a worshiper’s forehead. Luckily, there were enough ashes for the experienced interim pastor to help me prepare a more successful 2^nd batch.

The other confession I have to make is that as people came to the communion rail to receive the impositions of ashes, I was totally caught off guard by a dad holding his precious infant daughter. I placed my hand on the baby’s forehead and I looked at my ash-filled thumb, and in that very second, all the theology I learned in seminary went right out the window. Was I really going to put this dirty ash on a beautiful innocent precious child and declare, remember you are dust and to dust you shall return? I confess, I didn’t do it. I did not put ashes on the baby’s forehead but instead gave some sort of general blessing about being God’s child.

Then just two days later, I left the office to make a hospital visit that soon turned into three visits at three different hospitals. As I traveled between hospitals and prayed with the patients, it was clear to me how really fragile life is, all of life, babies and older adults, animals and plants. We are God’s creation but we’re not God. The stark truth of Ash Wednesday rang through my head, “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

I later watched a video with a pastor who has ALS. In the video he said, “I think humans have this capacity to think they’ll live forever—you ain’t living forever!” Then he goes on to say, “So what can I do with the limited time I have to make a difference.” That, I think, is the question. Or to put it into Lutheran terms, how am I going to respond to the grace, the free gift of life, that God has already given? May your Lent be one of reflection, repentance and remembrance of your baptism and of what God has done through God’s son, Jesus.

Creation Awesomeness

I've spent most of the day monitoring the weather as we've gone from a thunderstorm complete with lightening, thunder and hail to sleet and now I'm watching huge snowflakes fall while waiting for the 50 mph winds that are expected to arrive soon. We're at the point of winter when most of us are ready to see the green grass and warmer days of spring. But there is something about a snow storm that I really like. I don't know if it's the beauty and quietness of the freshly fallen snow or the fact that it makes us stop our crazy fast-paced lives for a short time. On days like this I find myself thinking about the awesomeness of God's creation.

I would have to say that I really like the four seasons. About this time of the year, I get tired of looking at the bare trees and dirty snow and before I know it, the grass is green and the trees begin to open their buds. Then it’s nice to have long warm summer days to enjoy sitting on the front porch with a glass of iced tea. By August, I find myself complaining a lot about the heat and so the cooler days of September are always welcomed. Then the beauty of the fall colors take my breath away but before you know it, the trees are once again bare and so I enjoy the first blanket of snow. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1

For some reason the last few winters I’ve noticed a lot of hawks sitting in the trees and on the road signs. Every time I see one, I’m reminded of God’s amazing creation. Just yesterday on my drive I was treated to a red-tailed hawk and a bald eagle just a mile apart. Isn't God’s creation amazing and beautiful?

The variety of God’s creation became very real to me when I taught for a couple of years in an Environmental Education program at a Lutheran church camp in North Carolina. A lot of our field trip groups were 8^th graders wanting to do the pond and stream activity to go along with their water quality unit. We would hike with groups of kids to the pond or stream and with our highly sophisticated gathering equipment (Cool Whip bowls) we would collect critters from the water, look at them, record what we found and then return them to their habitat. Some days we would find nymphs of dragonfly, stonefly, mayfly, damselfly and dobsonfly and the larva of caddisfly and cranefly. It was always fun to find a strider or two on the pond water and the whirligig beetle. And even though the kids were 8^th graders, they would still laugh when they learned that the diving beetle came to the top of the water to breath air in through what looked like their butt.

Seeing the variety of God’s creation found in the stream in just 15 minutes always left me with a moment of wonder and awe at all that God has made. And it is good, very good! I often wonder about those that don’t believe in God. How do they explain the variety, the intricate details of every living thing?

“And God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the dome of the sky." So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which the waters swarm, and every winged bird of every kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day. “ Genesis 1:20-23

That Song in My Head (and Heart)

In my congregation the hymns for Sunday worship are selected by the worship team. It's interesting to see how a hymn that is one person’s favorite is despised by another person. I admit that I have my favorites but I’m also willing to try new hymns as long as they’re something that I can sing. My grandmother had a beautiful singing voice but for whatever reason that gene did not get passed on to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sing but unfortunately I’m often off-key or miss the beat. It’s a lot better for everyone involved if I keep the belting out of my favorite songs to times when I’m alone in my car or home.

In scripture we have the book of Psalms, a collection of prayers and songs composed throughout Israel’s history. According to my HarperCollins Bible, “’Psalms,’ is derived from a Greek term meaning ‘song.’ The Hebrew title of the book, Tehillim, means more specifically ‘hymns’ or ‘songs of praise.’" (page 797) I think of music and songs as something that God has placed in our heads and on our hearts. I am grateful for the composers and song writers that have created and continue to write just the perfect masterpiece.

I’ve always enjoyed listening to music. I remember my sister and I playing our Beach Boys 8-track tape so much that it just finally wore out. The best Christmas present I received as a teenager was my stereo that included not only the ability to listen to my favorite radio station but I could play records, 8 track and cassette tapes!

Me with my three children the day of my commissioning
 service at Campbell University Divinity School
September 2005 

Just as the book of Psalms is full of a variety of emotions and is associated with a certain period of time in Israel’s history, there are specific songs that I associate with particular times in my life. For example, I cannot hear “Born to Be Wild” or “Stairway to Heaven” without thinking about my Uncle Reese who was killed on his Harley Davidson when I was in junior high. Today I saw a picture on Twitter that Campbell Divinity School commissioned a new group of students. I was reminded of the day that I received my Divinity School pin and sang along with the other students “Here I Am Lord.” When I spent my Lutheran Year of Seminary 350 miles away from my husband and kids, I played Third Day’s Revelation CD over and over. Every single song on that album spoke to me as I wrestled with my unworthiness to be called as a pastor.

As I begin my 9^th month of life as a pastor, I have been feeling very blessed, pure joy at the vocation to which I have been called and the congregation that I serve. I know that life is a roller coaster and I’m sure the feelings of doubt and unworthiness will soon try and slip their way back to the forefront. When that happens I hope to be reminded of a song that God has placed in my head and on my heart, Jason Gray’s Remind Me Who I Am

What song or hymn is speaking to you at this point in your life? Is there a song that is that “one” that you associate with a specific joy or difficult time in your life? What song has God placed in your head and on your heart?

Blessed are...

I've spent the last few hours searching for that "perfect" photo from my daughter's high school years for something that will be a birthday gift. What I thought would be a simple 15 minute task turned into a "I'm too old to stay up this late" night. Why am I still up at 2:00 am? Because I keep stumbling across photos that trigger memories and along with the music playing on my Pandora station my mind just keeps wandering. I look at these photos of the time we spent living in North Carolina and I see an abundance of blessings. Which makes me ask, what does it mean to be blessed?

I really wish I had my sermon written by Thursday (sorry Dr. DeBrand) but in reality I can't seem to find the time to write it until Saturday. The gospel that we will hear on Sunday is Jesus as he begins his Sermon on the Mount "blessed are ..."

As I'm looking at these photos of the last 8 years or so of our life, I'm feeling so overwhelmed with God's blessedness. I can't go to sleep because my mind is now asking why am I so blessed? Jesus turned the ancient world upside down by proclaiming God's blessings on the lowest of people. Again, why did God choose me and my family to be blessed?

I think about the risk that was involved when we moved from the Quad-Cities, the only community we knew, to North Carolina. It was someplace we knew nothing about and definitely at times felt out of place. But what a gift and blessing for Jon and I and our three children to experience something new. Our oldest child was going into eighth grade, a very difficult time where most adolescents are trying to figure out who they are. And although it was difficult, what a blessing it was for her to be free from the mean girls that had been her best friends but in the last few years turned to bullying to try and gain their own "identity." Our daughter took a risk and lived as the beautiful child God had created her to be and in the process, realized that she was full of gifts, talents and a fun loving spirit.

The hardest part for us during the almost eight years that we lived in NC was the distance away from family--missing out on birthdays, holidays and other fun milestones. However, I can not even find the words to express the love and sense of family that we felt from our church family and our neighbors. The only word I can think of is "blessed" and so here we are back at the Beatitudes.

As I think about Jesus' words that would have seemed totally radical to those who heard it I can't help but think about how radical my own feelings and ideas seem. My emotions went from being scared about the unknown to how blessed I am from having spent almost 8 years 1000 miles from our family with a "family" that accepted us for who we are with our Midwestern flaws and all.

I'm still up at 2:00 am because I'm thinking about how truly blessed I am by the love of my family. At the same time, I am blessed by a group of people in NC. I don' t think our NC friends have any idea that their phone call invitation to the Farmer's Market, or invitation to go see salamander eggs on a spring Friday night, or the annual Memorial Day weekend trip to the beach was a blessing.

When we hear Jesus' words from the mountain as he spoke to the crowds and began with "blessed are they..."  I wonder how we can more intentionally bless those that God has called us to be with in our community. Are you blessed? If so, how?

Happiness

My CD player is broke in my car and I have a 50 to 60 minute drive to work so I'm constantly changing the station on my radio. In the last two days, I've heard three different radio stations mention a recent study that couples without kids are happier than those with kids. http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/14/living/parents-happiness-child-free-studies/

I unconditionally love my three children and can't imagine my life without them but at the same time, I loved their dad first. If I understand the recent study correctly, if I didn't have kids, I would be happier in my marriage than I am with my three children. I have a hard time believing this. But at the same time, I have plenty of friends without kids that are very happy. So who's right? I have to admit that I'm a skeptic when it comes to the latest "study" especially when you're trying to measure an emotion like happiness.

I think what the study boiled down to is how well do we tend to and nurture our relationships? My husband and I just returned from a belated 25th Anniversary trip where we enjoyed time together without our kids. As I reflect on our marriage and on our family as a whole, there are highs and lows, times where we were more happy than others. Nurturing our relationships can be A LOT of work and I think this is the reason why some relationships are stronger and more fulfilling than others. We have to be intentional about relationship building.

Just because of the way life happens, my husband and I are currently on our 2nd "living apart" phase of our marriage. And although we know it's only temporary, we know we have to be intentional about how we spend our time when we are together and keeping in touch and communicating when we're apart. Otherwise we begin to grow distant and are less happy. 

Sure I wish I was better at nurturing my relationships. I admit, I don't call my parents, kids, siblings and friends enough but thanks to Facebook and Twitter, I feel like I'm still in touch. The intentional work that goes into relationship building is fruitful and I do feel happier and less lonely when I've given the relationships in my life some attention.

So do kids make your marriage less happy? I don't believe so. What I do believe is that all of my relationships are grounded in the relationship I have with God. I am able to love my husband and children because God first loved me. We are made in God's image and are God's beloved children. When I'm tending to my relationship with God, I am often reminded of others in my life and take that as a nudge to reach out and be intentional about my relationship with them. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1