Blessed are...

I've spent the last few hours searching for that "perfect" photo from my daughter's high school years for something that will be a birthday gift. What I thought would be a simple 15 minute task turned into a "I'm too old to stay up this late" night. Why am I still up at 2:00 am? Because I keep stumbling across photos that trigger memories and along with the music playing on my Pandora station my mind just keeps wandering. I look at these photos of the time we spent living in North Carolina and I see an abundance of blessings. Which makes me ask, what does it mean to be blessed?

I really wish I had my sermon written by Thursday (sorry Dr. DeBrand) but in reality I can't seem to find the time to write it until Saturday. The gospel that we will hear on Sunday is Jesus as he begins his Sermon on the Mount "blessed are ..."

As I'm looking at these photos of the last 8 years or so of our life, I'm feeling so overwhelmed with God's blessedness. I can't go to sleep because my mind is now asking why am I so blessed? Jesus turned the ancient world upside down by proclaiming God's blessings on the lowest of people. Again, why did God choose me and my family to be blessed?

I think about the risk that was involved when we moved from the Quad-Cities, the only community we knew, to North Carolina. It was someplace we knew nothing about and definitely at times felt out of place. But what a gift and blessing for Jon and I and our three children to experience something new. Our oldest child was going into eighth grade, a very difficult time where most adolescents are trying to figure out who they are. And although it was difficult, what a blessing it was for her to be free from the mean girls that had been her best friends but in the last few years turned to bullying to try and gain their own "identity." Our daughter took a risk and lived as the beautiful child God had created her to be and in the process, realized that she was full of gifts, talents and a fun loving spirit.

The hardest part for us during the almost eight years that we lived in NC was the distance away from family--missing out on birthdays, holidays and other fun milestones. However, I can not even find the words to express the love and sense of family that we felt from our church family and our neighbors. The only word I can think of is "blessed" and so here we are back at the Beatitudes.

As I think about Jesus' words that would have seemed totally radical to those who heard it I can't help but think about how radical my own feelings and ideas seem. My emotions went from being scared about the unknown to how blessed I am from having spent almost 8 years 1000 miles from our family with a "family" that accepted us for who we are with our Midwestern flaws and all.

I'm still up at 2:00 am because I'm thinking about how truly blessed I am by the love of my family. At the same time, I am blessed by a group of people in NC. I don' t think our NC friends have any idea that their phone call invitation to the Farmer's Market, or invitation to go see salamander eggs on a spring Friday night, or the annual Memorial Day weekend trip to the beach was a blessing.

When we hear Jesus' words from the mountain as he spoke to the crowds and began with "blessed are they..."  I wonder how we can more intentionally bless those that God has called us to be with in our community. Are you blessed? If so, how?

Happiness

My CD player is broke in my car and I have a 50 to 60 minute drive to work so I'm constantly changing the station on my radio. In the last two days, I've heard three different radio stations mention a recent study that couples without kids are happier than those with kids. http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/14/living/parents-happiness-child-free-studies/

I unconditionally love my three children and can't imagine my life without them but at the same time, I loved their dad first. If I understand the recent study correctly, if I didn't have kids, I would be happier in my marriage than I am with my three children. I have a hard time believing this. But at the same time, I have plenty of friends without kids that are very happy. So who's right? I have to admit that I'm a skeptic when it comes to the latest "study" especially when you're trying to measure an emotion like happiness.

I think what the study boiled down to is how well do we tend to and nurture our relationships? My husband and I just returned from a belated 25th Anniversary trip where we enjoyed time together without our kids. As I reflect on our marriage and on our family as a whole, there are highs and lows, times where we were more happy than others. Nurturing our relationships can be A LOT of work and I think this is the reason why some relationships are stronger and more fulfilling than others. We have to be intentional about relationship building.

Just because of the way life happens, my husband and I are currently on our 2nd "living apart" phase of our marriage. And although we know it's only temporary, we know we have to be intentional about how we spend our time when we are together and keeping in touch and communicating when we're apart. Otherwise we begin to grow distant and are less happy. 

Sure I wish I was better at nurturing my relationships. I admit, I don't call my parents, kids, siblings and friends enough but thanks to Facebook and Twitter, I feel like I'm still in touch. The intentional work that goes into relationship building is fruitful and I do feel happier and less lonely when I've given the relationships in my life some attention.

So do kids make your marriage less happy? I don't believe so. What I do believe is that all of my relationships are grounded in the relationship I have with God. I am able to love my husband and children because God first loved me. We are made in God's image and are God's beloved children. When I'm tending to my relationship with God, I am often reminded of others in my life and take that as a nudge to reach out and be intentional about my relationship with them. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1